The Product of my Surroundings
by Misty Mina
Summary: Usagi notices and hears what the other senshi think of her. But will that change anything! My first real story, Yay!


**Author's note: **Well, ok for all those who like how the Sailor Moon story goes this story isn't appealing at all. But please you should be open minded and not flame me with comments like: "Mamoru and Usagi belong together!!!" ...or something like that. It's just a 'what if' story. So lean back, read it if you want, but don't flame me for writing a 'fanfiction'.

* * *

**The Product of my Surroundings.**_  
by Misty Mina_

One would think a warm summer day was ideal to forget all the troubles in the world. Most people were content to bask in the sun or spend their day with friends and family in the park, having a picnic or playing games. But there was one girl, who sat on a bench with a slight frown on her face.

Tsukino Usagi was naturally a happy-go-lucky girl, but at the moment she didn't feel happy at all. It wasn't often that she had serious thoughts, worries or an inner conflict and right now it seemed to happen all at once. The blond girl should be happy with the things she had and the things that will happen in the future. She had great friends, a loving boyfriend and a wonderful family. She would be a Queen in the future, live for centuries, remain beautiful and will have a lovely daughter.

The ultimate dream of every little Girl.

But Usagi now realized that when things sounded like a fairy tale, they most certainly were one.

Dreams were just like fairy tales. Sounding beautiful and in the end everything would be fine and dandy.

But Reality was harsh and popped every dream bubble, no matter how real it would become in the future.

Sure she had friends that would stay and fight by her side. But lately she felt unwelcome. They would smile and laugh with her but as soon as she would close the door behind her she just had to wait a minute before the whispering would start.

"_Another wasted day of teaching her anything at all!"_

"_It's not her fault, Rei, Usagi just needs some time to understand."_

"_But Ami, you were close to losing your patience and that means something."_

"_If she keeps that up, she will fail the tests and won't graduate at all."_

"_Just keep up her tutoring lessons, no matter how long she needs to understand it. I don't even want to think of the future with a Queen who failed in school." _

"_Ok, Luna. We do what we can."_

What great friends she had there. Helping her in school, fighting by her side, just to make sure to have a well educated and living Queen.

Mamoru wasn't any better, yet she tried to overlook that. Usagi might be slow, but even she noticed how his behavior had changed towards her. He would withdraw from her occasionally, ignore what she would say about how her day had been and even be cold towards her when she acted more childish than usual. Maybe he thought she wouldn't notice, yet she knew that he was sometimes ashamed of her. She noticed how hesitant he was when she just wanted a small, chaste kiss. He would make sure that nobody was watching when he was generous enough to give her one.

Was that too much to ask for? A bit of affection here, a little kiss there?!

Was it really her that he loved? Or maybe it was really just the princess and future Queen? Who knows? It's not like he would give her an honest answer when she'd ask him.

The worst thing however was, that not even her family would comfort her. Her Father ignored her complains most of the time or sent her to her mother. And her mother would scold her for being a baby and that she should behave like a rational adult. Her brother didn't respect her at all. Making fun and annoying his older sister was a hobby for him.

Chibiusa called her stupid, worthless, a crybaby and a silly twit. Everything a future daughter shouldn't say at all to her future mother. Strangely she would behave in the future. More like, the courage to call her names would leave her as soon as she would see her mother and the royal tiara on her head.

All in all, Usagi came to the conclusion that it wasn't her dream a few years ago. She wanted real friends, not backstabbers. An honest boyfriend, who would love her for her and not for some dead princess he sees in her. And a family that cherished her no matter what she did.

That was the real dream. The dream she wanted to be real, dreamt about every night and couldn't have, no matter what she did.

Was the future really set in stone as Setsuna claimed it to be? Was there no chance at all to change it a bit in her favor?

Maybe there was and maybe she would make the biggest mistake of her life. But ...could it get worse? Worse than this? The mess she was trapped in right now?

No matter how much thinking she'd do, Usagi knew that nothing would change at all if she didn't take any action at all. Was it really so bad for her to be selfish, only once?

It was her body!

Her life!!

Her future!!!

No one should have the right to tell her what to do with it. She knew she would always try to save the world, but she didn't want to become a Queen for it.

Suddenly an old woman sat down next to her and looked at her intently.

"Why the long face, sunshine? It doesn't suit you." The elderly Lady said.

Usagi sighed and decided to tell her a little bit, but not everything. Couldn't hurt to get a good advice, could it?

"Just thinking. About what I should do with my life." She answered honestly.

"So young and already troubled about the future?!, My dear, you have all the time in the world."

"Maybe. I feel like it's time to change things, but I don't want to hurt anyone with it."

"I see. But sometimes, you can't avoid that. Things change with every decision we make, no matter how trivial it is. Sometimes you have to burn the bridges behind you to discover other ways."

Usagi thought about her words but couldn't make sense of it.

"I don't understand."

The Lady looked at her and smiled in a mysterious way.

"What is it you really want? That's the question you should be asking yourself. Life offers many options, you just have to open your eyes to see them. You should go home sunshine and think about it there. It looks like it's getting dark soon." The old woman replied and stood up to go.

The sun was setting and Usagi hadn't noticed that she'd spent the whole day in the park just sitting on the bench and thinking about her life. She stood up and bowed in front of the lady.

"Thank you, for your advice, I'll take it to heart." Usagi smiled slightly.

"Don't mention it dear. I'm just glad you smile a bit now. You look prettier with a smile on your face." It were the words that every Grandmother would say to their granddaughters when they were troubled.

Usagi bowed again and watched as the old woman turned around and walked away. The blond girl headed home, thinking what the woman had told her.

At home she didn't even react to her mother scolding her for being late or how Shingo and Chibiusa tried to make fun of her. She just went to her room and sat down on her bed.

" _What is it you really want?"_

Those words were spinning in her head. She wanted many things, but she knew she couldn't change many of them. What she really wanted was true friendship and true love. She thought about the time when she didn't know any of the other sailor senshi. When she was just Usagi and not Sailor Moon or Princess Serenity.

She had friends then. Not many but they were with her.

"Naru..." Usagi whispered. She hadn't talked to her for so long. Too busy with the sailor senshi and saving the world. Naru was her first and best friend. She didn't deserve to be cast aside like that. Right now, Usagi realized how much she had hurt her without knowing.

And true love? Was there even something like true love?

Mamoru loved the Princess Serenity. Not the simple Tsukino Usagi.

There was only one man, ...one person who declared true love to her and meant it.

"...Seiya."

Before the Starlights left earth, Seiya had a moment alone with Usagi. Telling her what has been on his mind for so long. He had been in love with her and her only. He didn't know anything about her being a princess or future Queen. He overlooked her flaws and called her cute instead several times.

It was about time she did something for herself. Like planning her future how it should be for her. All she ever wanted was, ...to live a normal life. (1)

Usagi made the first step by taking the phone and dialed a number she knew by heart.

"Hello, ...here is Tsukino Usagi. Could I speak to Naru, please?"

* * *

**Owari**

(1) See end of the first season.


End file.
